I think losing someone to suicide has to be the most difficult way to lose a loved one. Those who are left surely feel they could have convinced their beloved that there were other options. I discussed this with my 19 year old son this morning as I was driving him to work. He told me he feels that anyone who kills themselves is pathetic because there are always options and choices. I told him I thought that was a bit harsh and judgmental, and people don’t kill themselves on a whim. I think it comes after many years of unbearable suffering and perhaps they can’t see any other way out.
When I mentioned that she was my age (55), and had a 13 year old child, my son said he feels that when someone has a child, it is their responsibility to alwways put that child’s needs ahead of their own, and if they can’t do that, they shouldn’t have children. Sentiments like these serve no purpose in the aftermath of someone’s untimely death.
It simply isn’t possible to truly put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, and it is all too easy to judge from our comfortable vantage points.
I felt the suicide of Kate Spade was the tragic outcome of someone who had possibly struggled with mental illness for far too long, and simply lost the fight yesterday. I try not to judge.
If you are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1–800–273-TALK (8255) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741–741.