Meeting on OKCupid, texting and emailing for three months, a first date literally getting rained out, meeting at a diner build to arranging a renezvous at my lake house, also known as “The Love Shack”. This guy is really busy with work, and I am employed as a full time princess. We stay in frequent contact the week prior to the arranged weekend making plans for what we will need as far as food and other supplies. I came up with a plan for the weekend’s activities consisting of sex and drugs and rock and roll. I had enough weed to keep us high for the weekend. I like to drink wine as well and asked that he bring a bottle of merlot. There are lots of Cd’s at the house for rock and roll purposes. The question arose as to what we would need as far as sex. He asked if we would need condoms? I say yes and put that on him to bring since it is a man’s product. So, he is down for a bottle of wine and a bunch of condoms. He was courteous and generous to offer to shop for food, but I decided it made more sense for a princess to go grocery shopping because I had so much more free time, although we also discussed shopping together once we got to the house. He has some special dietary needs because of diabetes which we needed to talk about. I proceeded to bust his balls about showing up with a bottle of wine and some condoms just because I thought it sounded funny. We agreed that I would shop for food and he would cover the wine and condoms. Sounded like a good plan to me except for the little bit of awkwardness associated with our second “date” consisting of a weekend away together following our first meeting for a few hours at a diner.
Having been through a health crisis in the middle of the summer left me seeking as much adventure as possible during what little remained of the summer. This boosted my courage to meet this guy for the weekend at my remote lake house just to hang out and get high, listen to music, and get laid. I got an early start on Friday and stopped at the grocery store. I reminded him several times not to forget the wine and condoms because I am obnoxious.
He arrived a few hours after I did and I saw him bring his belongings into the house. It looked like the usual weekend away bag with work stuff thrown in. Staying true to my wise ass self, I asked if he had the wine which he produced immediately. I am an obnoxious wise ass, but I drew the line at asking about the condoms. I figured I would find out as the weekend progressed.
Even though this was technically our second date, the proverbial ice had been broken because we had gotten to know each other fairly well through texting and email over the course of about 3 months. We also had the face to face meeting at the diner. We prepared dinner with the groceries I had picked up. Naturally, I made a big deal about where the wine was. We just about drank the entire bottle before it got dark out. Nature proceeded to take its course after we got high and started to relax on the couch, listening to music. Our months long talking texting emailing foreplay was becoming actual touching and kissing. Time slipped away quickly as things heated up so we went to bed.
Once we were naked in bed together, nature naturally took its course, and before I knew it, he was hard and on top of me. This was my moment..” did you bring the condoms?” “Dude, I asked you to bring two things” Of course he had them, but in the true heat of the moment we weren’t focused on being safe until I brought it up. He tore open the package and carelessly tossed the torn piece of the package on the bedroom floor. He left a couple more condoms on the nightstand at the ready for the rest of the weekend. We had plenty of sex and drugs and rock and roll. We had wine. This was going as planned in terms of having a fun, safe adventure for the last little bit of summer.
Towards the end of the weekend, Sunday morning, we took showers and got back in bed. We had talked quite a bit over the weekend about our sexual histories and STD status as far as we knew. He had tested clean earlier in the summer, and I had had very few partners, all of which had been protected, in the last two years since I had been tested. So, in the end, the condoms kind of became moot. I still think it is better to be prepared.
As we were cleaning up the bedroom and changing the sheets getting ready to leave, he found the strip of the condom package he had torn off the night before. It might have been funny if he had failed to find it because I share the vacation home with my ex husband who was planning to show up that evening. Perhaps his girlfriend would have seen the wrapper and noticed “that’s not our brand”?